Tin Girl

by Lyra Brown

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1.
Oops 03:39
Look, the power is out again and they don’t know when it will be back At least you’ve got your candles to keep you company Oops, I’m disappointed again I guess that’s just what I get For letting my expectations get the best of me Don’t look back now, don’t you dare now ‘Cause if you do I will turn to dust right before your eyes And then you will be compelled to collect the remnants of what I once was Wishing you had made time to apologize You said: “nothing is real in the end” But what of the wings that I mend? I could kill you with the blade inside my pen Lost all my limbs in the fight Waging what’s wrong and what’s right You don’t think I will, but I might I might. Look, the feeling is gone again, that is if it was here at all I keep my window open just in case it calls Oops, I’m in love again I guess that’s just what I get For letting you cut me open to look inside my chest Look ahead now, watch your step now ‘Cause if you don’t you may end up belly up on your back And then a crowd of ignorant people will surround you Waiting for you to react You said: “nothing is real in the end” But what of the wings that I mend? I could kill you with the blade inside my pen Lost all my limbs in the fight Waging what’s wrong and what’s right You don’t think I will, but I might I might.
2.
Out but Thru 03:20
Cracked skin, porcelain Sharpening your claws You smiled once, you looked happy Like an accident on pause Blink twice: you’re in the backyard Watching the lilacs die Ash covered shoulder blades Reminiscing on when you used to fly Go slow in the fast lane, honey Well it looks like you’re on cue Would I tell you what it felt like, baby Well there’s no way out but through Quick wit, unzipping the armour that you wear You fashioned a blanket out of the reasons Why you were scared Wanting to be loved so desperately So that you wouldn’t have to look At the graveyard diggers that you dreamt about Before you bit the hooks Saw your face through the veil My old house is up for sale The old haunts inside my head Are telling me i’m left for dead There’s no place to belong Except the inside of a song Tell me one thing that you know: You have to be uncomfortable If you wanna grow.
3.
I miss the way you held your pen I miss the way you said my name I may never see you again But I have your picture in a frame Do you still smell the same? Do you still tell the truth? If you ever look for me I’ll be in the pages of our youth I’ll cut it out, I’ll try again If only I knew what I know now, then Loneliness can make us do All kinds of senseless things All the time I spent with you Was like a wounded pair of wings Nostalgia is a pretty liar Insisting things were better Than they actually were at the time At the time, at the time
4.
Home Again 03:41
Always the sentimental one Using the words you wrote down Long ago, when you ran the show Breaking an empty promise Craving an affectionate cigarette kiss Always used to the consistently inconsistent You can’t go home again You can go... You can go home again You can’t go.... Always the super cautious one Filling the void of boredom Living on the sly, blushing in the sky I was restless reckless and I swear sometimes I don’t even wanna feel Don’t even want to heal... You can’t go home again You can go.... You can go home again You can’t go.... So take off the people pleasing smile Show them what you really know Show them what you really know...
5.
Salad Days 04:08
I’ve always been a moth to flame But that don’t mean that I’m to blame For the faulty switch inside your brain How I long to be free of these chains Everything is standing still Half of me in for the kill Hope for the best, expect the worst Is this body a blessing or a curse? I’m not made of tin anymore Than I wanted to win the war Of you and I, so what’s the use? When all you have is some cheap excuse You gave me grief and took my youth And that’s the truth You came to me inside a dream I opened my mouth but couldn’t scream You said: “click your heels and you’ll be home” So I did and woke up alone
6.
I can feel the leaky faucet of my butane brain Flood the sad and lonely streets that pollute your veins And I’m tired of wanting you to need me I watch you writhe and wriggle with itchy skin Sharing a sleeping bag with truth is not an easy thing And I’m tired of watching you destroy you What have you got to lose? I’m not here for you to lose I was trying to fill the hole inside my stupid heart When you picked me up and placed me back into the darkest part Of a story of a vulture that leaves you picked apart It’s no wonder I was lazy with trying not to lose I’m not here for you to lose What have you got to lose? I was carving out a way for us to dine and dash We’ve got fear to keep us company and of course panache I was crying when you told me not to laugh
7.
A Moment Ago 03:50
Where did I put my confidence? I could have sworn that I had it just a moment ago A moment ago You’re on the hunt for your other half I’m just trying to figure out how to laugh Through the pain, through the shame Tried to fit through the hole in the wall Walked on the tightrope but I didn’t fall Made up a home out of a box Yeah, you can hide but you can’t escape your thoughts Where did I put my sense of self? I could have sworn I was someone else just a moment ago A moment ago Couldn’t get out of bed for a week Gotta try and fake it though ‘cause if you’re sad They think you’re weak Where did put my confidence? I could have sworn that I had it Just a moment ago Just a moment ago
8.
recall the day you called and said: “Hey I packed my bags, I’m going on a trip and guess who’s not invited?” Oh perfectionist, you might break a nail over this But you ain’t gunna break any hearts so you might as well crumble ‘Cause you ain’t gunna be missed! I recall what I was doing that one time I was munching on an apple and I turned my head then looked back at it And a worm said: “Hey this is my home! Who are you to use it for the sake of being satisfied and satiated? Karma’s a bitch kid, I work hard - I’m dedicated!” I know I’ll soon go mad What with pissing off worms and reveries of days gone bad But what good is praying going to do When the thing you love is dying in the next room? What good is loving going to do When the thing you hate is laughing right beside you? Once in a while there’s that reminder That says “you’re not needed here, you’re just an under liner” And they will use you and abuse you and reduce you To nothing but a stained sheet of a New Document Arial: font 12 BOLD New Document Arial: font 12 BOLD! I know I’ll soon go mad What with pissing off worms and reveries of days gone bad But what good is praying going to do When the thing you love is dying in the next room? What good is loving going to do When the thing you hate is laughing right beside you?
9.
Last night I found myself weeping for all I have yet to lose For things I wish for safe keeping, for all I have yet to prove You gave me your porcelain shoulder I cried for time and getting older I cried for the wasted years I cried for my unconquerable fears This restless heart, what a wretched mess It needs a bigger chest All the love and all the hate Growing more and less and less You say you love me but I know There are rooms in you I’ll never go Do not disturb signs, doors locked shut Passwords I could never guess with the best of luck I guess the root of every moment and every memory Is how you choose to remember it, oh how will you remember me? Carrying mountains upon my back A piece of fiction turned to fact Binoculars to help you see Or the sea foam that I used to be Last night I found myself weeping for all I have yet to lose For things I wish for safekeeping, for mountains I have yet to move You gave me your severed ear I treaded water in a pool of tears I cried for who we used to be I wept for you and I wept for me.

credits

released October 31, 2020

Lyra Brown • Grand Piano, Wurlitzer, Omnichord, 
Synths, Vocoder & Vocals
Murray Wood • Upright and Electric Bass
Bill George • Drums
Brenna MacQuarrie • Synths, Background Vocals
Chelsea Seth Woodward • Electric Guitar on Out But Thru

Co-produced by Lyra Brown & Brenna MacQuarrie
Recording & Mixing by Brad Smith @ Velveteen Audio
Mastering by Reuben Ghose
Cover Artwork by Dimitra Milan

Music and lyrics © Lyra Brown 2020

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Lyra Brown

Lyra's music is an eclectic blend of indie-pop and piano whimsy, focusing on compelling, surreal lyrics.

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